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Wednesday
Jul082015

Best Relationship Song of Summer 2015 – Honey, I’m Good

Summer has only just begun, but I’m going ahead and calling it: The best relationship song of Summer 2015 is Andy Grammer’s Honey, I’m Good. Not only is this song ripe with catchy beats that make you want to clap your hands and sing along, but it’s an anthem for fidelity and commitment. 

As you can imagine, I spend a lot of time talking about relationships, and an all too familiar topic is infidelity. A pet peeve of mine is when people defend their cheating by claiming that it “just happened.” I understand that if someone is under the influence (of alcohol, or perhaps stupidity), then they may not be able to fully comprehend the ramifications of their actions. But before reaching that level there is a point when we all know our behavior is leading towards trouble. This song debunks the idea that infidelity is an accident by reminding us of that moment when we should know better.  Just like the song trumpets, you “could have another but probably should not” and if you stay you “might not leave alone.” It is then that you have a choice to make.

Throughout the song, Andy repeats his decision to “stay true” to his love. Even with “long, long legs nearly everywhere,” he decides to keep his wits about him and quit (drinking and mingling) while he is ahead. It’s important for his listeners to know that being faithful is not about the lack of temptation, but rather, it is about turning down temptation.  We celebrate the couples featured in the video, not only for their sweet dance moves, but also for their ability to resist the lure of attractive alternatives. The good news is the more committed you are to your partner, the less you will have to worry about infidelity.1 Research shows highly committed partners fail to notice their romantic options (i.e., inattention to alternatives), and when they do take notice they often downplay how attractive others really are (i.e., derogation of alternatives). This, in turn, creates a healthy self-perpetuating cycle, as perceiving fewer romantic options leads to more commitment and less cheating.2 

So go ahead and sing along loud and proud this summer. Not only will this song bring a smile to your face, it may also add a few years to your relationship as it reminds you to do what is necessary to stay true. 

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1Drigotas, S. M., Safstrom, C. A., & Gentilia, T. (1999). An investment model prediction of dating infidelity. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 77(3), 509-524.

2Emmers-Sommer, T. M., Warber, K., & Halford, J. (2010). Reasons for (non)engagement in infidelity. Marriage & Family Review, 46, 420–444.

Dr. Sadie Leder-Elder - Science of Relationships articles | Website/CV
Dr. Leder-Elder's research focuses on how people balance their desires for closeness and protection against rejection, specifically during partner selection, goal negotiation within established romantic relationships, and the experience of romantic love, hurt feelings, and relationship rekindling. Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

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