Tuesday
Feb262013

Wanna Make You Feel Wanted: Husbands’ Sensitive Support Predicts Relationship Outcomes

The country pop hit song “Wanted” by Hunter Hayes resonates with individuals in close relationships who strive to make their beloveds feel cherished and desired. Despite the heartfelt nature of the song, the motives for and consequences of this approach to relationships remain uncertain. What drives the desire to make one’s partner feel wanted? How does it affect our relationships? And is the longing to “hold your hand forever and never let you forget it” particularly characteristic of males, as “Wanted” implies?

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Monday
Feb252013

Happy 2nd Birthday...To Us!

Two years and 1.5 million page views later, we've reached our second birthday. We are incredibly thankful to all of our awesome contributors who make this site happen and to our loyal readers.

If you aren't sure what to get us for our birthday, the best gift is to share relationship science with others. Please share your favorite ScienceOfRelationships.com article on your preferred social networking platform like Facebook, Twitter, reddit, Pintrest, etc. The best present we can hope to receive today is to know that our readers (and their relationships) benefit from relationship science.

Sunday
Feb242013

The Jimmy Kimmel Challenge: "I Gave My Wife or Girlfriend A Terrible Gift For Valentine's Day"

It seems like some guys took our advice about Valentine's Day gifts a little too literally (either that, or these guys are relationship geniuses).

Saturday
Feb232013

Week in Review: 17- 23 February 2013

Saturday
Feb232013

Who's Busy This Weekend?

From toothpastefordinner.com.

Read more about stalking here and Facebook here (sadly, we don't have any articles about collecting a beloved's loose hair).

Friday
Feb222013

The Pressure to Be Thin: Males’ Influence on Female Romantic Partner’s Body Satisfaction

We’ve all been known to pack on a few extra pounds over the holidays. Not surprisingly, our weight, as well as our partners’ weights, can influence our romantic relationships. For example, when relationship partners’ weight levels start to diverge and become different from one another, leading to what researchers refer to as mixed-weight couples (think Peter and Lois Griffin from Family Guy or Oprah & Stedman), there can be problems. In fact, recent research1 and a recent article in the Wall Street Journal ("Put a Stop to ‘Do I Look Fat?'") investigate what happens in relationships where one partner, particularly the female, is less fit than the other. According to research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, relationships that pair an overweight female and a healthy weight male experience more conflict.

(You can hear more about the study in the Relationship Matters podcast here, or read a copy of the full article here.)

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Wednesday
Feb202013

Hot and Heavy or Slow and Steady: Changing Our Perspective on Love

In a recent New York Times article, psychology professor Sonja Lyubomirsky challenged ideals about long-term marital bliss and presented evidence that new love has a short shelf life.

As she outlines in the article, in a new relationship, our partner constantly surprises us because so much about him or her is a mystery. This uncertainty is exciting and often accompanied by high levels of desire and passion. Social psychologists refer to early stage of a relationship as passionate love – an intense period of longing and desire for a partner that is common in new relationships but tends to fade after about two years. Over time, our partners become more familiar and predictable, and we shift to a more companionate love stage. Although this stage typically involves a deep connection, it is less intense and often feels more stable and comfortable.

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Monday
Feb182013

Relationship Beliefs Can Lead to Unrealistic Expectations of Romantic Partners

Even people in the happiest relationships tend to have some things that they wish they could change about their partners: habits they wish their partners would break, skills they wish their partners would hone, or personality traits they wish their partners would work on. But can a partner ever really change?

Well, yes, they can, with a great deal of hard work, and there will usually be some setbacks along the way.1 But what seems to be particularly important for people’s relationships is whether or not people think their partners can change.

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Sunday
Feb172013

Your Relationship, If You Were A Drummer

Saturday
Feb162013

Dr. KC Haydon on WPR

Our colleague Dr. KC Haydon was recently interviewed on Wisconsin Public Radio about the role of developmental history on current relationship dynamics. You can listen here.

Saturday
Feb162013

It's Complicated

Friday
Feb152013

10 Things that TV and Movies Teach Us about Relationships

My mom used to say that watching TV would “rot your brain.” While I think she was probably right (fun fact: moms are always right), on occasion TV and movies can teach us a thing or two about our relationships. Here are ten relationship lessons that the writers at ScienceofRelationships.com have culled from TV shows and movies like Twilight, Mad Men, How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory and many others:

1. Expose Yourself, Get Liked

In this case, “expose” means that you should be in close proximity so that the person sees you and can interact with you (so please keep your pants on). On How I Met Your Mother, Barney describes this idea in his “Mermaid Theory.” Read more here.

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Thursday
Feb142013

The Aerodyanmics of Love: Disney's "Paperman"

Thursday
Feb142013

Valentine's Day Recap

Thursday
Feb142013

If Charles Darwin Wrote Valentine's Day Cards...

...they'd look like this (from defectiveyeti.com):

Thursday
Feb142013

Science-Approved Valentine's Day Cards

Still searching for the perfect Valentine's Day card for your sweetheart? Look no further, we have you covered.

Click here to see all of the available cards. You can also share them on Facebook here.

Wednesday
Feb132013

Get Your Facebook Profile Ready for Valentine’s Day

What should you do to get ready for Valentine’s Day? According to YourTango, you should delete your ex-partner from your Facebook friends list. They have even designated a day for doing it; February 13th is Break Up With Your Ex Day, and this means deleting, blocking, untagging, and unfollowing your ex from Facebook and other social media.

Click to read more ...

Wednesday
Feb132013

The Science Of Love (video)

From AsapSCIENCE (on youtube.com).

Wednesday
Feb132013

Chinese Valentine’s Day: A Sign of China’s Rising Love Culture

Wanna talk about your love life? People in China do. For the past year, I’ve been living in Shenzhen and working on a collection of true stories about love and marriage experiences since the rise of Communist China. Far from being viewed positively, romantic love often generates suspicion among the older generations and confusion among the young. This brief Valentine’s Day story, told to me by a charming twenty-two year old Buddhist woman, illuminates the clash of old and new ideas about love: 

“The first time a boy kissed me, I was fifteen, and it was Valentine’s Day. He pretended to have a school question to ask, but instead he declared that he liked me. He pressed a rose into my hand, which I tried to refuse, stammering that I didn’t like him at all. I turned to go, but he pulled me close and kissed me! I wrestled my arm away and raced into my house, very flustered. After that, I hated him, thinking he was a morally rotten boy. I had never seen anybody kiss or hug in my hometown, not even married people, and nobody said, “I love you” either. I just wanted to cultivate friendships and avoid loving anyone, so I never talked to that boy again. If people in my hometown ever kissed like young lovers do in the cities, everyone would think they were degenerates, even today.”

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Tuesday
Feb122013

How Do Same-Sex Couples View Valentine’s Day?

As far as mainstream holidays go, Valentine’s Day is perhaps the most heteronormative of all. From greeting cards and gifts, to television shows and movies, society inundates us with messages that Valentine’s Day is an occasion to celebrate monogamous, heterosexual relationships. It’s a day when men buy flowers, chocolates, and (for the more adventuresome) frilly panties for their ladies before having a candlelight dinner punctuated by kisses and declarations of love and fidelity. So on a day when almost everything seems to be about “devoted husbands” and their “beloved wives,” what are gays and lesbians supposed to do?

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