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Wednesday
Aug012012

Why Does "It's Not You, It's Me" Feel Like "It Really Is Me?" 

A reader recently submitted the following question:

Q: Why does a break up feel like the person is rejecting you? Even though you are pretty satisfied with yourself? I guess what I am also asking is, when someone says “It's me, not you,” why does it still hurt?

A: Thank you for submitting your question. Social rejection is painful in almost any context; being ostracized from others feels bad because it threatens many of our core needs, such as our need to belong.

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Tuesday
Jul312012

July 2012 - Thank You! 

As July comes to a close, we'd like to thank all of you for helping us have a banner month for readership. Our traffic hit an all-time high this July.

We have an exciting few weeks coming up, with some awesome new contributors joining the team, as well as a batch of outstanding new articles from your favorite authors. Let's see if we can set another record in August!

You can continue to support ScienceOfRelationships.com by following us and sharing our articles on Facebook, Twitter, Pintrest, Tumblr, Reddit, and your other favorite social media and news sharing sites. Please help us spread the word about relationship research.

Tuesday
Jul312012

TV Alert: Dr. Amy Muise Talks "Sex in the Summer"

ScienceOfRelationships.com featured columnist Dr. Amy Muise will be on CTV tomorrow morning on the TV show AM Express (at about 9:45am, EST). She'll be talking about "sex in the summer" and answering questions like: Is it too hot to get busy in the summer? and Do people have more/less sex in the summer? Maybe they'll even ask her if people have more sex while they are on vacation (see her answer here).

If you're north of the border, check it out!

See a previous interview with Amy here (on the topic of the effects of social media on relationships) and read her ScienceOfRelationships.com articles here.

Tuesday
Jul312012

Paging Dr. Love

The legendary rockers of the American band KISS may not have been so far off when they belted out, “Baby, I know what your problem is...the first step of the cure is a kiss!” in their hit single, “Calling Dr. Love.” They couldn’t have known it at the time, but current relationship scientists may now agree with Gene Simmons’ medical claims. There might be a little something special to that kiss.

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Monday
Jul302012

Too Romantic and Too Short: Why Relationships from The Bachelor and The Bachelorette Fail

Now that Emily has chosen Jef over Arie in the most recent Bachelorette, the question is whether their relationship will make it to the altar and beyond. After fifteen bachelors and eight bachelorettes, so far there has only been one successful marriage (Trista Rehn and Ryan Sutter). Although three other couples, including Jef and Emily, are currently engaged, and one bachelor married the runner-up instead of the winner, most of the bachelors and bachelorettes actually found love elsewhere. Why might this series, which is supposed to help people find love, fail so miserably at producing long-term relationships?

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Sunday
Jul292012

Vocabulary Check: "Sexagenarian"

Saturday
Jul282012

Logical Fail: U2's "With AND Without You"?

Please enjoy the real U2 song while you're pondering this Venn diagram.

Saturday
Jul282012

Week in Review: 22-28 July 2012

Friday
Jul272012

Whose Orgasms Are We Moaning About Anyway?

Sounds during sex can range from “ohhhs” and “ahhhs” to words of encouragement (“don’t stop,” “that’s it!,” “YES!”) to sexual expletives to screams that wake the neighbors. But who is all this noise really for?

A recent study reveals that the sounds women make during sex aren’t just about their own orgasms but also serve to help their partners’ orgasms.

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Friday
Jul272012

Relationships and Personality Change - Live from Italy

While relationship researchers were at the IARR conference in Chicago, personality psychologists gathered in Trieste, Italy for the 16th annual European Conference on Personality. I was a part of a paper session entitled “Social Processes in Personality Change” along with Kathrin Jonkmann and Beatrice Rammstedt. All of our talks involved relationships with romantic partners, and the myriad of ways in which they contribute to changes in personality.

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Thursday
Jul262012

Your Partner and You: One Shared Brain

An interesting idea that has recently emerged in psychology and cognitive science is the extended mind: the notion that your cognition is not merely “in your head,” but can extend to the world around you. Google presents a good example of this phenomenon. People are less likely to remember information when they know it is stored somewhere “outside” of their heads – particularly, a computer or the internet. Hence, we may not trouble ourselves in memorizing a recipe for a delicious dip simply because we know where we can find it online. Likewise, we probably don’t know many cell phone numbers because we know that they are readily available in our phone (although this may lead us to panic when our phone loses all that information).

The extended mind phenomenon also opens a door to another question: given that romantic relationships are characterized by relatively high degrees of self-other overlap, can your romantic partner serve as an extension of your own mind?

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Wednesday
Jul252012

Dear Kristen Stewart...Why Did You Cheat?

Quick, in 10 seconds think of as many celebrities as you can who have allegedly been caught cheating. Go! Tiger Woods, Jude Law, Bill Clinton, Dave Letterman, Kobe Bryant, Eliot Spitzer, LeAnn Rimes, Hugh Grant, Bill Clinton some more, Jon Edwards, that guy Sandra Bullock was married to, Brett Favre, and now Kristen Stewart. Why is this so easy? Either you have an extraordinary knowledge of celebrities' love lives, or it really is a common phenomenon. So, why do they do it? Is it really Robert Pattinson's fault? Nope. They do it because they can.

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Wednesday
Jul252012

A Musical History of Wooing Women

We usually save fun stuff like this for weekends, but we figured that y'all could use a mid-week pick-me-up. Enjoy!

Wednesday
Jul252012

"Hooking Up" – What is it Exactly?

“Hooking up” has become a catch-all phrase in our culture to describe casual romantic or sexual activity. Despite the pervasiveness of the phrase, however, no one (lay people or relationship scientists) has a solid, agreed-upon definition for exactly what it is. What specifically does “hooking up” entail? A recent review article sheds light on this question.

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Tuesday
Jul242012

Hot Women Make Men Dumb and Dumber

Most of us have experienced a gut-cringing moment in which we made an embarrassing comment or did something idiotic in front of a person we were trying to impress. Even smart guys are not immune to this; look at how The Big Bang Theory’s Leonard Hofstadter’s staggering IQ of 170+ plummets whenever he sees Penny. Unfortunately, guys, it looks like this cognitive decline in the presence of the opposite sex affects only those in the male population.

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Monday
Jul232012

Premature Sextaculation

Although I have had a few dates with The Consultant, I don’t want to get too serious too quickly. In the meantime, there are still a number of guys showing interest in me on the internet dating site I have been using (which I will gladly name for a hefty fee). One guy in particular has been flirting with me quite voraciously. But he lives about an hour away, so it has not been easy to arrange a date. We recently were finally able to set something up.

A few days before the big event, he started sexting me. At first, it wasn’t totally obvious because flirtatious texting typically has sexual undertones like “I’m really looking forward to seeing you this weekend”; we had been doing a lot of that up to this point. His new approach, however, was different. His sexual references were now very explicit and his intentions became quite clear. Then, he texted a photo of himself wearing boxer briefs with a fully pitched trouser tent. Well, at least he had his underwear on. The text accompanying the picture read, “Here is a taste of the trouble you’re getting into on Friday!”

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Sunday
Jul222012

Bed Cartography

Sunday
Jul222012

Dr. Benjamin Karney on Families and Couples

Saturday
Jul212012

Week(s) in Review: 8-21 July 2012

Saturday
Jul212012

It's Elemental