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Thursday
Nov222012

Thanksgiving and Relationships Go Together Like Mashed Potatoes and Gravy

Thursday
Nov222012

Happy Thanksgiving!

Wednesday
Nov212012

How Well Do You Know People? Play the Game

Editor's note: Our friends at In-Mind.org have developed a smartphone app that tests your knowledge of human behavior...Here's what they say about it (see below to get it on your iPhone or Android device):

Social K: The Game 

What do YOU know about people? Do you think that you know the human psyche? And, do you know the human psyche better than your friends?

Here's the app that will put your mind to the test. Social K assesses your knowledge about human behavior and teaches you facts that you may have never known!

Click to read more ...

Wednesday
Nov212012

Dr. Tim Loving on the Dudley & Bob Show (KLBJ-FM, Austin, TX)

ScienceOfRelationship.com's Dr. Tim Loving makes his radio debut on The Dudley & Bob Morning Show (KLBJ-FM, 93.7) in Austin, TX. Click on the button to play the ~19 minute clip ("fastest 19 minutes of my life" -- Dr. Loving).

Wednesday
Nov212012

Got a Secret, Can You Keep It?

Whether your teenage brother is a petty burglar or you seduced your sister’s fiancé, we all have family secrets. The characters on ABC Family’s mystery-thriller television series, Pretty Little Liars, know this all too well. They struggle to live normal lives despite being surrounded by deceit. To make matters worse, a menacing (and seemingly omnipresent) bully known only as “A” seems to know of every slip-up and secret shame, blackmailing the main characters in exchange for not revealing their dirty deeds. While most of us don’t have an “A” stalking our every move, we all have information that we keep to ourselves. Researchers in the fields of psychology and communication know this too and have uncovered a lot about the nature of family secrets.

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Tuesday
Nov202012

A Careful Balance of Care

Giving and receiving care is an essential part of relationships. But how do you know just how giving you should be or how much you should expect others to give in return? Research indicates that there are two common types of relationships people engage in to ensure balanced giving and receiving.

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Monday
Nov192012

Pondering the “What If” Relationship

About 10 years ago I had a short-lived, whirlwind romance with a man who was taking a long break from a complicated relationship with another woman. Once things got emotionally intimate with me, he bolted back to her and they eventually married. I was devastated. Despite my initial grief, we remain a presence in each other’s lives. Although we have transitioned to being only friends, there has always been a flirtatious quality to our interactions. I refer to him as The Question Mark because I have always had the “what if” question haunting me about him. What if he had been more available when we first started dating? What if our career paths were not so different? What would happen if we lived in the same city today, now that we are both single again?

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Sunday
Nov182012

Another Reason to Support Gay Marriage

Last week Maryland, Maine, and Washington became the most recent states to support gay marriage (joining MA, CT, IA, VT, NH, NY, and the District of Columbia). For the rest of the country, here's another reason to get on board with gay marriage. [WARNING, this video is NSFW due to language]

Sunday
Nov182012

Men: Want a Date? Take a Break from Shaving this Movember

This month is “Movember,” an international movement to raise awareness about men’s health, particularly prostate and testicular cancer. Men participating in “Movember” grow moustaches and raise money to fund cancer education and research.1 Yet, Movember may have an added benefit for relationships: women rate men with a full beard as more masculine, socially mature, dominant, and aggressive than they rate clean-shaven men. However, men with light stubble fare best on ratings of attractiveness and desirability for short-term and long-term relationships.2 Historically, men tend to grow facial hair during years that competition for mates is more intense (for example, moustaches were particularly popular in the early 1900s, based on images in the Illustrated London News),3 suggesting that facial hair fashion trends are attuned to the effect facial hair has on women’s judgments.

Click on the image to supersize it!

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Saturday
Nov172012

You Were So Perfect When We First Met

Saturday
Nov172012

Week in Review: 11 - 17 November 2012

Friday
Nov162012

Why Watching Twilight Movies May Be Bad For Relationships

In the past decade, the popularity of vampire-themed books and movies for young adults has risen dramatically. Although vampires make for some good nail-biting fun in the Halloween season, they also send some unfortunate messages to the young people who love them. In this article, I argue that the popular Twilight series can be used to highlight patterns of behavior that put individuals at risk for abuse in dating relationships. The popularity of the Twilight series shows just how much attention girls are giving to the examples of lovers displayed in Edward and Bella’s world. To them, Edward represents the troubled soul who is waiting to be tamed by just the right woman; it’s the modern Beauty and the Beast. Unfortunately, many fans turn a blind eye to the dark side of Bella and Edward’s romance. The course and characteristics of Bella’s relationship with Edward are actually a template for violence and abuse, and Twilight fans may unwittingly model a relationship that may lead to both psychological and physical abuse.

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Thursday
Nov152012

And For My Next Trick: The Magical Effects of Positive Illusions About Romantic Partners

Think about the last time you had a crush. What did it feel like? Chances are this experience involved overwhelming feelings of passion, confusion and excitement. Relationship researchers often refer to this experience as passionate love,1 or “Eros.”2 When someone is in this state of crush, thoughts about their partner (or desired partner) dominate their mind. Further, a person often thinks about their crush in highly idealized ways; their partner is the most beautiful, intelligent, and compassionate person in the world, and there is simply no way you can convince the crush-er otherwise.

Although common when someone is crushing, these idealizations—called positive illusions3—can occur at any relationship stage.

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Wednesday
Nov142012

Relationship Research in the Kitchen

Researchers Dan Ariely and Sam Gosling talk about the psychology of cooking a great meal for your date, including the role of misattribution in promoting attraction.

Tuesday
Nov132012

Breaking Up is Easy to Do…If You Have a Smartphone

John Mayer is apparently a trend-setter among celebrities. The singer/guitarist reportedly dumped Katy Perry by email and Jennifer Aniston with a text message (recommendation: if you are dating John Mayer, hide his iPhone). And Taylor Swift is said to have been the recipient of a break up voicemail (although not from Mr. Mayer). Is this form of calling it quits isolated to just our friends in the entertainment industry or is it common among the rest of us?

Have you ever been dumped over email? Would you text a (soon-to-be-former) partner to let them know it was over? heyyy we r over bye. Technology provides many options for communicating a desire to break up while allowing us to avoid the awkwardness of dumping someone face-to-face. But how often do people use technology to break up, and are some people more likely to do it than others (or be the recipient of it)?

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Monday
Nov122012

Is It Time to Move On and Let Go?

Q: I am 21 years old and my ex-boyfriend is 34. We had been together for 2 years on and off. We broke up two months ago but in the past two weeks he suddenly came into my work place and we spoke. This week we planned on Monday to hang out, but I canceled on him and rescheduled for Wednesday. We had a quick dinner; he kept updating me about his friends and what he has been up to, and asking how I have been. After dinner, he walked me home and brushed his hand against my back occasionally...but when we reached my place, we just hugged and parted. We didn't kiss or talk about where our relationship is going.

The next day he texted me telling me that it was nice to see me again...I replied "Likewise." Two days have passed now...and I haven't heard from him since.

I guess I'm just confused as to whether my ex-boyfriend still wants to get back with me...or is it time for me to let go and move on?

A: Thank you for your question. It does sound like you are getting some mixed signals, so it is natural to want some clarification about what is going on with your ex.

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Sunday
Nov112012

Helping a Friend After a Divorce

Saturday
Nov102012

Can a Chicken be Too Romantic?

Saturday
Nov102012

Week in Review: 4-10 November 2012

Friday
Nov092012

Your Facebook Profile Picture: A Window Into Your Relationship

The information people choose to share on Facebook can provide insight into their personalities and social lives. We can make fairly accurate judgments about individuals’ personalities from their Facebook profiles alone.1 In one study where people rated a stranger’s Facebook profile, judgments of certain personality traits, such as extroversion (e.g., sociability, outgoing nature) and openness to experience (e.g., curiosity, preference for variety) were consistent with the stranger’s ratings of himself or herself as well as how the stranger’s close friends rated him or her.1 So it seems that Facebook can help us learn about someone. But what do people’s Facebook profiles tell us about their romantic relationships?

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