Entries from March 1, 2013 - March 31, 2013

Sunday
Mar312013

Things You Might Say About Your Computer (but NOT Your Girlfriend)

from cheezburger.com

Saturday
Mar302013

Week(s) in Review: 17-30 March 2013

Friday
Mar292013

All I Didn’t Want To Know About Relationships, I Learned From the Jersey Shore

Lately, I’ve been thinking about a by-gone era. A time when we could turn on our televisions and get a weekly dose of Snooki, JWow, Pauly D, the Situation and the rest of the Jersey Shore gang. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not nostalgic for their dating debauchery but rather reflective on the impact that it has had on our society. Thinking back, I’ve come to the conclusion that all I didn’t want to know about relationships, I learned from the Jersey Shore.

Although I could easily be referring to the urban dictionary definition of a “grenade” or the meaning of GTB (gym, tan, break-up with Paula) or DTF (which I will not translate), I’m actually referring to how MTV’s Jersey Shore was a truly ingenious demonstration of social psychology principles. Unfortunately, it’s possible that we may all be worse off for having shared in their sexually-permissive hijinks. Here’s why...

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Thursday
Mar282013

Another Reason to Love the Golden Girls

Wednesday
Mar272013

Firewood, Rice, and Fairy Tales: Ideas about Love in the US and China

“Marriage is mostly just firewood, rice, oil, soy sauce, vinegar, and tea.” -Chinese proverb 

Although China’s rising ‘love culture’ has borrowed many foreign ideas, such as teen dating and Valentine’s Day (see my last article), China’s romantic relationships hardly mirror Western ones. Young Chinese are usually free to choose their spouses, but they are not free to linger long in singlehood. If a woman hits her late 20s without a husband, everyone calls her a shèngnǚ (剩女) or “leftover woman” — a label invented by the government in 2007. Faced with mounting social pressure from parents and colleagues, today’s Chinese singles commonly marry because it is “time,” not because they are in love. 

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Monday
Mar252013

What's Wrong With My Internet Dating Profile?

I just read about DateSim.netTM, a service that is co-founded by Dr. Jennifer Harman that uses dating  simulations to give objective feedback on dating skills. I think it sounds like a great idea, but the $500 fee is outside of my budget.

How about reviewing existing profiles on a dating website and giving suggestions? I've been on the same dating site for 4 years and have only been contacted 3 times - twice by obvious scammers and once by someone whose picture alone scared me to death, not to mention his inability to write a complete sentence. I remain on that website because it's free. (I know, I know.)

Maybe I should mention I'm 55 yrs old, divorced 12 years after a 24 yr marriage, and have yet to have a first date. I'm not a ravishing beauty but I don't scare dogs or small children. I'm 5' 6" 140 lbs, so I'm not bigger than most women my age. I'm self-sufficient and own my own home. It seems that the men in my age group, 50-65, are looking for young sexy starlets. Does a woman my age have any chance at all of having a date?

Great question. The way we present ourselves on the dating market, particularly on-line dating services like Match.com and Plenty of Fish, is tricky business. These on-line sites are not technically matchmaking services...they are essentially tools that you can use to market yourself to show how desirable you are.  

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Sunday
Mar242013

Infographic: 7 Ways to Improve Your Relationship

Saturday
Mar232013

The *4 Pics 1 Word* App is Also Pretty Smart

I was playing 4 Pics 1 Word the other day and this came up. It's a very smart app!

Check it out via iTunes or Google Play.

 

Friday
Mar222013

Does Sexual Narcissism Lead to a Better Sex Life?

If I asked you to list the qualities that make for a good sexual partner, what would you say? Maybe you would want a lover who focuses on your sexual needs, someone who understands your feelings, or perhaps a lover who is sexually skilled and confident in his or her abilities. These different ideas about what makes a good sexual partner suggest that narcissism could either be linked to greater sexual satisfaction (a lover who is confident in his or her sexual skills) or a lower quality sex life (a selfish lover).

In previous posts (see here, here, and here), we have discussed why narcissists tend to be poor romantic partners (they are self-absorbed, low in empathy and more likely to cheat on their partners), but what about the sex lives of narcissistic people?

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Wednesday
Mar202013

Can Your Computer Play Cupid?

PlentyofFish. Match.com. OkCupid. eHarmony. These are just a handful of dating websites that offer users the opportunity to seek out romantic partners and, if lucky, develop a fulfilling, committed relationship. Such dating sites promise access to a large selection of potential partners, the ability to communicate virtually with other users prior to meeting face-to-face, and (allegedly) rigorous matching with compatible potential partners. It is unclear, however, whether meeting partners online yields more positive romantic outcomes1 than do more traditional avenues (e.g., meeting a relationship partner through friends or by chance encounter). Should you leave it to your computer to play matchmaker, or are you better to stay offline and wait for Cupid’s arrow to strike?

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Monday
Mar182013

Can She Fall In Love With Me Again?

I'm currently in a long-term relationship where, after a difficult year of dealing with depression, my partner has claimed to have fallen "out" of love. However, she tells me that she is committed to trying to make things work. Is this feeling really something that can be regained over time? Or is now a point where one has to make the decision to love the person they're with?

Thank you for your question. Your experience is not uncommon, and the answer lies in a number of articles about love that have previously appeared on Science of Relationships (e.g., My partner has been less affectionate lately, what gives?). Love is defined in so many different ways—it sounds as if your partner does love you, just not in the way that she used to.

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Sunday
Mar172013

Sometimes The Irish Don't Have Good Luck

Saturday
Mar162013

Week(s) in Review: 3-16 March 2013

Friday
Mar152013

"Wanna Go to Bed With Me?" (a.k.a. "Get Away from Me, Creep" vs. "Where Do I Sign Up?")

What if you were sitting at a café, the park, or a beer garden (the latter being where you’re most likely to find me) and someone you’ve never met before approached you. Doesn’t seem too bad at this point, right? Now, what if this stranger then attempted to solicit casual sex from you? What would you say?

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Thursday
Mar142013

Wife of Pi

Happy "Pi Day" to everyone! Read more about relationship counseling here.

image source: facebook.com/scifri

Wednesday
Mar132013

Catfish: A Cautionary Tale (Too Bad It Came Too Late For Manti Te'o)

My new obsession is Catfish. No, I’m not talking about the whisker-faced, water-dweller. I’m referring to the documentary and subsequent MTV reality series about online romances. Given the heightened frequency of internet dating, the premise doesn’t sound all that unique. However, this show highlights relationships that have gone on for months, and in some cases years, without the partners ever meeting face-to-face. In a fascinating and unfortunate twist (SPOILER ALERT), the show typically ends with one partner realizing that his or her online love is not who he/she has been pretending to be. Think it couldn’t happen to you? Just ask Manti Te’o how real a virtual romance can feel. 

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Tuesday
Mar122013

Do Those Who Buy Together Stay Together? Treating Homeownership as a Relationship Decision

My fiance is a mortgage broker, and recently we decided to combine our two passions (mine = relationship research, his = finances) and share some thoughts that might help couples who are thinking of buying a home together. For more information, blogs and videos on finances, visit the Loewen Group website.

Buying your first home? Chances are this is not only a financial decision, but a relationship decision as well.

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Monday
Mar112013

Is Sleeping Separately Bad For Our Relationship?

I've been dating the same guy for 2 years and we rarely spend the night with each other, mainly because he can never fall asleep or stay asleep when we do. I sleep much better when he is with me despite his tossing and turning all night, but I don't want to keep him from sleeping. I've always thought that married couples who don't sleep in the same bed have issues, but maybe there's nothing wrong with sleeping alone. Is it important for couples to sleep together or does it matter?

Thank you for your question. It is not surprising that you would feel some concern about what sleeping together means for your relationship; does it mean that you and your partner are becoming less intimate?

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Sunday
Mar102013

Everything's More Romantic When Published in a Journal Article

Saturday
Mar092013

The Entomology of Speed Dating