Entries in breaking up (4)


Break-Ups Don’t Have to Leave You Broken (VIDEO)

A TED talk by SofR's Dr. Gary Lewandowski.


Sign Me Up: How Participating in Break-Up Research Helps Coping

In order for the scientific discipline of psychology to exist, we need participants who are willing to take our studies, come to our labs, fill out our measures, or answer our questions online. If you took Intro Psychology in college, chances are that you have been in a psychology study. If you’re planning on taking Intro Psych in college, this is one more thing to look forward to.

When people sign up for a study they often have to meet certain criteria. So we can study what makes relationships work better, relationship scientists often look for potential study participants who have recently fallen in love or who have had a long-term relationship. We also look for single people when we want to better understand attraction or how people start relationships. Those studies are often fun for researchers and participants because of the subject matter.

But as someone who has done research on break-up, I can tell you that break-up research can be tough. Often I’m looking for participants who have broken up recently while the experience is still new and somewhat raw.

Click to read more ...


The Breakup: Are You Over It? Take the Quiz!  

How quickly are you supposed to "get over" a breakup, anyway? Sex in the City fans should remember Charlotte's Golden Breakup Rule, "It takes half the total time you went out with someone to get over them." But in real-world breakups, that rule doesn't always apply. A lot depends on whether you were the dumpee or the dumper and how things went down. So, how over it are you? A little? A lot? Find out with today's relationship quiz!

Editors' note: This quiz is part of a project on great relationships conducted by contributor 
Melissa Schneider, LMSW, and is not supervised or conducted by ScienceOfRelationships.com, other contributors, or the academic institutions affliliated with contributors to the site.


When I Lose You, I Lose Part of Me, Too

There’s no question that romantic breakups can be really hard. Losing a partner we’ve become very close to means losing someone who was previously part of our daily lives. As a result, breakups can undermine our ability to sleep and eat well (among other things). Research has revealed that experiencing a breakup has several unique effects on our sense of self or self-concept (i.e., everything that makes us who we are) as well. For example, research has demonstrated that, after a breakup, people feel that their self-concept is smaller than it was before the breakup; in other words, they feel like their self-concept has diminished somewhat.1 This makes sense, since over time people tend to incorporate their romantic partner into their self-concept, meaning that their individual identities begin to merge (that is, “me” and “you” becomes “we” and “us”). In the wake of a breakup, then, the self-concept may feel reduced or contracted because there used to be another person involved in it (e.g., part of “me” used to include being a loving partner to a specific person, and now that part is gone).

Click to read more ...