Facebook and Relationship Development: It’s Complicated (Part 2)

Part 1 of this article described a recent study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships investigating how Facebook has become an important part of the development of romantic relationships. In particular, although young adults don’t view Facebook as a dating site per se, it is used as a way to get to know potential partners better and gauge romantic interest. But beyond these initial interactions, Facebook is important as relationships progress.

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Facebook and Relationship Development: It’s Complicated (Part 1)

Whether you like it or not, Facebook has become a central part of young people’s lives: about 75% of adolescents and young adults (aged 12-24) in the United States are active users of Facebook.¹ As an important part of their day-to-day social interactions, Facebook reflects and plays a critical role in the development of young people’s romantic relationships. The importance of Facebook is illustrated by a recent paper published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships,² which employed in-depth interviews and focus groups with 55 college students to gather their thoughts about Facebook’s role in relationship development. College students are typically heavy users of Facebook; this sample of students reported spending, on average, nearly 2.5 hours actively using Facebook each day (which is similar to the frequency reported in other studies).³ 

Based on these interviews, the researchers identified three themes that are relevant at different points of relationship development:

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Tag, We’re It: How Facebook Reveals Information about Current (and Past) Relationships

You know those people on Facebook who tag their romantic partners in every…single…post? Or how about the people whose uploaded photos almost always contain their partners? If you’re anything like me, you may find it somewhat annoying, but these kinds of behaviors convey important information about couples’ relationships.

Previously, we have discussed how romantic partners’ senses of self gradually begin merging together and overlap with one another. In other words, we begin to take on some of our romantic partner’s aspects into our sense of who we are (e.g., you may find that you have picked up interests or hobbies that your partner introduced you to), and we begin to talk more in terms of “us” and “we” than “me” and “him/her”. In a recent study, researchers surveyed 276 individuals (mostly college students) about various aspects of their romantic relationships, including the degree of self-partner overlap and the content of their Facebook profiles.

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Beware of Claims about Single People that Come from Online Dating Services

Have you seen the headlines about the “Singles in America” survey? Match.com is oh-so-proud of it. The company boasts of the intellectual firepower behind their study. The survey is touted as “comprehensive” and the Match.com CEO brags that, “Since its inception, Singles in America has proven to be an unprecedented source of insight into the ideologies and lifestyle choices of today’s singles.”

Of course, the fact that the survey comes from Match.com should set off our scientific alarm bells. But Match.com points to their scholars in charge, and notes that the results are based on a representative sample of 5,000 American singles and 1,000 married people. Plus, sadly enough, many media outlets take the findings reported in the press release and run with them, as though they were ferrying precious cargo. So I think it is important to take a close look from a scientific perspective, and offer a less credulous perspective than you might find elsewhere.

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Your Facebook Profile Picture: A Window Into Your Relationship

The information people choose to share on Facebook can provide insight into their personalities and social lives. We can make fairly accurate judgments about individuals’ personalities from their Facebook profiles alone.¹ In one study where people rated a stranger’s Facebook profile, judgments of certain personality traits, such as extroversion (e.g., sociability, outgoing nature) and openness to experience (e.g., curiosity, preference for variety) were consistent with the stranger’s ratings of himself or herself as well as how the stranger’s close friends rated him or her.¹ So it seems that Facebook can help us learn about someone. But what do people’s Facebook profiles tell us about their romantic relationships?

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Should You Stay “Friends” With Your Ex-Partner On Facebook?

Let’s face it, Facebook has changed the way we experience romantic relationships. The widespread popularity of Facebook has increased the amount of information people can access about their romantic partners - past, present, and future. In addition, Facebook has provided new ways for romantic partners to communicate. In previous posts, I talked about research findings linking Facebook use to higher levels of romantic jealousy and greater relationship satisfaction when going “Facebook official”. But, what are the consequences of staying Facebook “friends” with a partner after breaking up with said partner?

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How Dare You "Unfriend" Me

Social networking has fundamentally changed how we interact with one another. For example, researchers find, time and again,^1,2 that interactive networking sites are helpful in maintaining relationships with our close friends and family as well as with our acquaintances. But these sites have also changed how we end our relationships. The best example of this is the ability to “unfriend” someone on Facebook. With the click of a button, you are able to terminate your Facebook relationship with anyone you had previously friended. However, when a friend decides to cut you off, you receive no notification that you have been unfriended. In fact, you’re likely to only notice the change in friendship status when your total number of Facebook friends goes down or if you search for the person who unfriended you and notice they are no longer listed as one of your friends.

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Facebook and Your Relationships - Take Stock

image source: takeadvantageoffacebook.comFacebook has finally gone public. Unless you're sitting on a stack of their stock, you'll never see a dime from it. But thanks to ScienceOfRelationships.com, at least you can be rich in knowledge about relationships. Here's a recap of some of our favorite articles about Facebook. 

1. Does the Green Eyed Monster have a Facebook Profile?
2. Read This Before Your Next Facebook Post
3. Does Facebook Cause Divorce and Infidelity?
4. How Does Social Media Influence Relationships?: The Morning Show Discussion
5. Get Your Facebook Profile Ready for Valentine’s Day
6. Are You Facebook "Official"?
7. I’m Watching You on Facebook: Attachment and Partner Surveillance

Flirtatious Facebook Game: Special Invite for Science of Relationships Readers

From time to time people approach us with special deals and offers to promote their products. To this point we've deleted the majority of these requests, but we recently learned about a new Facebook "flirting game" called Flirtatious. It's currently in beta, but the developers were kind enough to make a limited number of invites available exclusively for Science of Relationships readers.

Check it out by going here: https://apps.facebook.com/flirtati/

...and use the invite code "scienceofrelationships" to get started.

Have fun!

Dr. Amy Muise's Research Featured on bigthink.com

ScienceOfRelationships.com's Dr. Amy Muise's research on the link between Facebook and jealousy was recently featured on the website bigthink.com. Read the article here >>>

See Amy's SofR article about this research here >>>

Check out an interview with Amy (with link to video) here >>>

Are We Facebook "Official"?

In the movie The Social Network, Mark Zuckerberg deems the relationship status section of users’ Info the finishing touch on his new website, “the Facebook.” Assuming the movie was depicted accurately, this last minute addition may have changed the face of what it means to be “in a relationship.” Today this means that your relationship status is no longer a private agreement between you and your partner, but rather a public display broadcasted to all of your “friends.” “Facebook official” is a popular term used to describe the process of changing your relationship status on Facebook to reflect that you are now “in a relationship.” For some, this denotes the official beginning of a new relationship. After all, nothing’s official until it’s on Facebook, right?  

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I’m Watching You on Facebook: Attachment and Partner Surveillance

Facebook helps you stay connected with friends and family, but some people also use it to keep tabs on their romantic partners. Anxiously attached people are more likely to use Facebook to monitor their partners’ behaviors and are more jealous about their partners’ Facebook use (e.g., if the partner is still friends with a former boyfriend/girlfriend). Conversely, avoidant people show the opposite pattern; they monitor their partners less and feel less jealousy.

(A note to you anxious folks out there: if it will help you feel better, please don’t be afraid to spend lots of time monitoring the SofR Facebook page; avoidants are welcome too.)

Marshall, T. C., Bejanyan, K., Di Castro, G., & Lee, R. A. (in press). Attachment styles as predictors of Facebook-related jealousy and surveillance in romantic relationships. Personal Relationships.

Read This Before Your Next Facebook Post

Facebook gives its 800 million+ users the opportunity to interact and build connections with a variety of people. Given the nature of interactions on the site, including making comments or “liking” others’ posts, Facebook provides a unique forum for those seeking to improve friendships or enhance their self-esteem. As anyone who has used Facebook can tell you, many posts are of the “look at how awesome I am” variety. Clearly, Facebook provides an excellent social outlet for those with high self-esteem; but, it may be less beneficial for their less self-loving counterparts.

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Get Your Facebook Profile Ready for Valentine’s Day

What should you do to get ready for Valentine’s Day? According to YourTango, you should delete your ex-partner from your Facebook friends list. They have even designated a day for doing it; February 13^th is Break Up With Your Ex Day, and this means deleting, blocking, untagging, and unfollowing your ex from Facebook and other social media.

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How Does Technology Influence Relationships?

SofR contributor Dr. Patrick Markey talks about technology and relationships.

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How Does Social Media Influence Relationships?: The Morning Show Discussion

Last Friday, I woke up at 4:30am for an appearance on The Morning Show to answer this question. Click here to see the video of the interview.

It is also a question that I and other SofR writers have explored previously. On the show, I discussed my own research about the association between spending time on Facebook and the experience of jealousy. I also suggested that, when triggered, jealousy may lead women to “creep” their partners’ Facebook pages moreso than men, primarily because men tend to be more likely to avoid relationship-threatening information than women.

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Facebook Relationship Status: It's Complicated

From xkcd.com.

Summer Lovin' or Summer Leavin'? Two Ways to Predict Break-up

Summer is here…the beach, the pool, the mountains, picnics, fireworks, sitting around reading trashy novels, or perhaps just a little rest and relaxation. You might also consider adding a little summer romance to that list. Now, if you're already in a relationship, this might pose some problems, but hear me out. Whether you and your partner are graduating and heading off to different colleges, or just have different summer vacation plans, the summer may be a good time to take a break. Blasphemy! Well, maybe you would never consider it…but would your partner?

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Reflections On Weinergate: What Do We Know About Cheating?

The recent scandal involving Congressman Anthony Weiner of New York (the guy who "accidentally" sent provocative photos of himself to attractive young females over Facebook and Twitter) has become a media sensation. This probably has something to do with the fact that this guy’s last name is, well, hilarious given the nature of the photos he was tweeting, but also because this guy seemed to have it all.

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Does the Green Eyed Monster have a Facebook Profile?

In the movie The Social Network, maintaining “single” as his relationship status incited a jealous rage in Eduardo Saverin’s girlfriend. Even Jamie Lynn Sigler (aka Meadow Soprano) found herself feeling jealous on Entourage when her boyfriend Turtle added an attractive new “friend” to his Facebook page.

Our research on Facebook and relationships has found that Meadow Soprano and Eduardo’s girlfriend are not alone, there is a link between Facebook use and the experience of jealousy.

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