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What should you do to get ready for Valentine’s Day? According to YourTango, you should delete your ex-partner from your Facebook friends list. They have even designated a day for doing it; February 13th is Break Up With Your Ex Day, and this means deleting, blocking, untagging, and unfollowing your ex from Facebook and other social media.
A reader wrote in with the following dilemma: "I'm currently with a boy that I've been with for 2 months, he is so sweet, and treats me like a princess, something I've always wanted. Although, I can't seem to stop talking to my ex bf. I feel like it has to do with the fact that I moved on too quick, it was like a month that I moved on and I was with my ex for 3 yrs. I just don't know what to do with my situation, I'm the type of person that doesn't like to hurt anyone but that's too late. Every time I'm with my ex I get weak, and it gets so hard for me to tell him I can't talk to him anymore, because I know that's the best option for me. Every time I'm with my current bf, everything seems right, but I here and there think about my ex. I need help on what to do, because I will always love my ex, but I have strong feelings for my current bf."
Q&A's | tagged breakup, dating, friendship, on-again/off-again relationships, relationship advice 
I previously wrote about the things that do and do not predict breakups. Now that we have a good handle on what predicts breakup, let's tackle the question “who predicts breakup?”
The answer seems fairly obvious, right? If I want to know if your relationship will stand the test of time, I should ask you and/or your partner. Who knows more about a relationship than the people actually in that relationship? You’re there (and hopefully awake) for all of the interactions you have with your partner.
Have you ever wanted to share good news with friends but were afraid they would rain on your parade because they’re downers? Researchers recently discovered that people avoid disclosing positive information to low self-esteem friends and romantic partners in order to avoid a negative interaction (e.g., the “downer” pointing out the downside). Interestingly, we don’t keep the good news to ourselves to protect our close others’ feelings – we primarily focus on our own outcomes!
MacGregor, J. C. D., & Holmes, J. G. (2011). Rain on my parade: Perceiving low self-esteem in close others hinders positive self-disclosure. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 2, 523-530.
Evolutionary psychologists, including pioneers such as David Buss, have yet another perspective on this type of friendship. These researchers tend to view cross-sex friendship as an evolved reproductive tactic, or “sexual strategy.” In a nutshell, evolutionary processes have created differences between men and women with regards to sex. Thus, men and women may have different motivations for becoming friends with the opposite sex.
Until recently, my wife never understood my fascination with fantasy football. Specifically, she wondered how I could make fun of the other “players” in my league (i.e., my friends) without them getting mad at me. I rarely see these friends because we live in different states, and she likes to point out that it may be a better idea to be nice to one another. Perhaps many of you are just like my wife, wondering what in the world is wrong with your boyfriends/fiancés/husbands (at least in terms of our obsession with fantasy football.
As I look out my office window at the freshmen moving into the dorms, I’m reminded of a classic study of student housing at MIT demonstrating the importance of physical proximity on forming friendships. Most college friendships developed between people who lived near to each other; those living close to stairwells and mailboxes (i.e., gathering places) became the most popular residents. So if you want to make friends, be seen and interact with others.
Also see our article on having healthy relationship during your first year of college.
Festinger, L., Schachter, S., & Back, K. (1950). Social pressures in informal groups: A study of human factors in housing. Palo Alto, California: Stanford University Press.
Quickies | tagged classic study, college, friendship, mere exposure, proximity 
This is a question I get asked a lot by my friends and students. The answer is yes, heterosexual men and women are perfectly capable of remaining platonic friends without dating or hooking up (labeled as “cross-sex friendship” or “opposite-sex friendship” in the scientific world),1,2 and nearly all men and women have had such a friendship at some point in their lives.3 However, there are unique aspects of cross-sex friendships that can be potentially problematic or rewarding depending on your perspective.
Cornina asked: "Is it realistic to believe that a man and a woman can move past the awkward barrier of good friends into passionate, romantic love?"
Dear Corina,
The answer is yes, friends can (and often do) become lovers, although as your question implies, the transition can be somewhat awkward.
Q&A's, Reader Favorites | tagged barriers, dating, friendship, gender, love, relationship initiation, uncertainty 
Volume 5 of Relationship Matters has just been released. You can download the MP3 here.
In the first interview, Dr. Nickola Overall discusses the best strategies for creating change in our relationships - what to do and what not to do! This work is also written about in a recent Science of Relationships post.
In the second interview, Dr. Susan Charles tells us that older adults (e.g., above 65) tend to generally have better social networks than younger adults, and tend to be happier and more satisfied with life generally. She describes how young people could learn to be happier by emulating strategies used by older adults!
Relationship Matters is the official podcast of the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships and is dedicated to bringing its audience interviews with relationship researchers presented in an accessible way that highlights practical implications. You can visit their Facebook page here.
The term “friends with benefits” (FWB) has become part of our vernacular in recent years and public interest in the topic appears to be surging. For example, this year alone brings two major motion pictures devoted exclusively to the subject, No Strings Attached (starring Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman) and this summer’s Friends with Benefits (starring Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake). The concept has also been popularized by the ongoing FWB arrangement between Vinny and Snooki on the Jersey Shore (see here for more on the Vinny/Snooki saga).
One thing all of these media portrayals have in common is that they depict FWB relationships as complicated. Inevitably, somebody seems to get jealous and drama ensues. So does that match up with reality? Are these relationships really that difficult to manage?
Nicole asked, "If every other sought after characteristic is present, can a relationship thrive on a long-term basis if there is no sexual chemistry?"
Dear Nicole;
The makers of Viagra® would have you think such an idea is sheer lunacy! Ultimately, however, it depends on what you mean by “thrive.”
;)
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Rather than write about the continuing saga of Ronnie and Sammie (guess what, they’re still fighting as predicted in last week’s post), I thought I’d focus on Vinny and Snooki’s relationship. If you’ve been following the show, you know that they were friends that “smushed” (had sex) in the past and remain close friends. Essentially, they have a “friends with benefits” relationship where there is a friendship and sex, but no romantic relationship.1
The slogan for ScienceOfRelationships.com is "Because the important things in life deserve data." Recent research by Dr. Holt-Lunstad and colleagues reveals just how important our social relationships really are. In their review of 148 studies (representing over 300,000 participants), they show that stronger social relationships, or greater social integration, increase individuals' life-spans. An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but high-quality personal relationships might just keep the grim reaper at bay.