Entries in lesbians (8)


Case Study: "I’m a lesbian marrying a man"

Recently, salon.com ran this article (click here) that tells the story of a lesbian who fell in love with a man. Although this isn't a scientific study, it's consistent with the article that Dr. Dylan Selterman wrote a couple weeks ago, Debunking Myths About Sexual Fluidity.


“We Can Still Be Friends”: Six Ways You Can Stay Friends After a Breakup

Unlike Jerry and Elaine in the classic TV sitcom Seinfeld, or Ted and Robin in How I Met Your Mother, it isn’t easy for ex-romantic partners to remain friends. Think about it…how many of your exes are still friends of yours? Half of them? 25%? If you’re like me, the answer is more likely zero, nil, nada, zilch.

Even if your ex assured you that “it’s not you, it’s me,” breakups are still upsetting. Because of this, it may not surprise you that about 60% of ex-partners do not have contact with one another post-breakup. However, some exes do keep in touch and even become friends after the breakup. In fact, there are several situations in which post-dissolution friendships are more likely.

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How Gay and Straight Men and Women Influence Their Partners’ Health

Research has long suggested that saying “I do” to a significant other is similar to saying “I do” to better health.1 Married people – especially married men – report better health and live longer than single people.2,3 But marriage itself is not necessarily the reason for these differences; there are many explanations for the health benefits of marriage including increased social support, improved health behaviors by folks who are married, more positive attitudes about health by the married, as well as the benefits of having a partner to help provide health insurance.4,5 

Why are men more likely to experience health benefits in their relationships than are women?

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How Do Same-Sex Couples View Valentine’s Day?

As far as mainstream holidays go, Valentine’s Day is perhaps the most heteronormative of all. From greeting cards and gifts, to television shows and movies, society inundates us with messages that Valentine’s Day is an occasion to celebrate monogamous, heterosexual relationships. It’s a day when men buy flowers, chocolates, and (for the more adventuresome) frilly panties for their ladies before having a candlelight dinner punctuated by kisses and declarations of love and fidelity. So on a day when almost everything seems to be about “devoted husbands” and their “beloved wives,” what are gays and lesbians supposed to do?

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I Always Thought I Was Straight, But Now I’m Not So Sure: Can Our Sexual Desires Change?  

Confused and Heartbroken asked the following:

I am a very straight 20 year old girl. I have only dated men until earlier this year. One of my very close friends last spring told me she was bi-sexual. We had become very close already and had developed a very strong friendship. After she came out to me I realized my feelings intensified and after admitting it to her we ended up in a very heated moment and kissed. Things were wonderful for about two weeks when she basically abandoned me and our friendship.

That was the last week of April and the first week of May of this year. We were apart for the summer with very limited communication and I ended up starting to date a very good friend of mine from my hometown. Things are going wonderfully with him but since I've come back to school and been around her I've been lonely and missing her more and more. We've talked and I've finally managed to get some answers to my questions but I'm still in love with her. I don't understand or know why I am attracted to her because I've never found myself attracted to women before and I certainly don't know why I'm still so attached.

Please help me. :(

Confused and Heartbroken

Dear Confused and Heartbroken,

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Will Same-Sex Marriage Reduce Equality in Gay Relationships?

The recent legalization of same-sex marriage in New York got me thinking about how the institution of marriage itself could impact same-sex couples. One provocative question that researchers will undoubtedly explore in the coming years is whether the opportunity to marry could potentially undermine what has historically been one of the greatest strengths of gay and lesbian relationships: equality.

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Why Do People Have Different Sexual Orientations?

A reader submitted the following question: I'd (selfishly) be interested in hearing more about the current research on the emotional/biological/psychological basis of homosexual relationships.

Dear Reader,

You are not alone in wanting to know more about this subject. Students in my Human Sexuality course ask about it every semester!

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Similarity Versus Complementarity Among Lesbian Couples

A recent post discussed the role of similarity in romantic relationships; do “opposites attract” or do “birds of a feather flock together?” Fortunately, the science of relationships has been able to help flush out what could be regarded as conflicting advice about what to look for in a partner.

There is very little research to suggest that opposites really do attract when it comes to romantic partnerships. In fact, romantic partners have been found to typically be similar in a variety of qualities ranging from height and weight to attractiveness to educational, ethnic, and religious background. It seems that most of us find validation in keeping company similar to ourselves and we tend to like others who have qualities that are familiar to us.

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