Entries in long-distance relationships (16)

Thursday
Mar262015

Relational Savoring in Long Distance Relationships: Relationship Matters 45

Anyone that’s been in a long distance relationship knows how hard it can be to be geographically separated from somebody they care about. SAGE has released a new edition of the Relationship Matters podcast (hosted by Dr. Bjarne Holmes of Champlain College) in which Dr. Jessica Borelli (Pomona College) was interviewed regarding her research on strategies for successfully manage long distance relationships (the research team also included Hanna Rasmussen also of Pomona College, Margaret Burkhart of Claremont Graduate University, and David Sbarra of the University of Arizona).

The researchers randomly assigned 533 people in long-distance relationships (i.e., separated by at least 100 miles) to either a relational savoring condition or one of two control conditions. All participants, regardless of condition, first engaged in a laboratory task that is capable of putting stress on long distance relationships. In the relational savoring condition, participants were asked to recall and concentrate on a specific past moment during which they felt very positive about the relationship or particularly safe and loved.

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Wednesday
Oct232013

Living Apart, Together: Why Some Couples are Forgoing Cohabitation

First comes love, then comes…? These days, the answer may be a U-Haul truck. For many couples, moving in together is a key decision that transitions them from a dating relationship to a long-term committed partnership. However, a small but growing minority of long-term couples across a number of Western countries – such as Britain, Sweden, and Canada – are choosing to forgo cohabitation entirely, preferring to keep their separate homes. This phenomenon is referred to as living apart together, or LAT.

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Monday
Aug192013

Four Tips for Navigating Long-Distance Relationships

Editors' note: Last week, Dr. Andy Merolla responded to a reader's question about distance in relationships; this week, he gives four tips for maintaining long-distance relationships. 

What can you do to improve your long-distance relationship? Research on relational uncertainty, expectations, and long-distance relationships offers us the following ideas.

  1. Be direct. During periods of heightened uncertainty, it’s important to openly talk about your concerns with your partner.1 In light of your budget and time constraints, you and your partner need to have some frank discussions about the appropriate number and timing of visits in the coming months. Unfortunately, there does not appear to be a “magic number,” so the two of you need to determine what makes sense for you. If you aren’t sure, that’s okay.

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Monday
Aug122013

Distance and Relationships: “Stuck in the Middle with You”

Q: A lot of research has been done on long distance relationships, and internet articles abound with advice for those couples. However, what about couples who aren't quite long distance, but certainly aren't geographically close? My partner of over a year and I are navigating this sort of relationship right now (as college students on a budget), where we either live 50 to 90 minutes apart by car, depending on whether school is in session or not. As committed as we are, and as excited as we are, it's not always easy to know how to handle this sort of "middle distance" relationship. Is there any research on this? Thanks!

A: As you might have read about in the research you’ve done, long-distance relationships are full of contradictions.1 For every drawback of long-distance relating—the boring commutes, lonely Friday nights, uncertainty about the timing of the next visit—there seems to be a silver lining. Take, for instance, research suggesting partners can learn to communicate better by seeing each other less.1 Or, consider recent research showing partners can benefit from missing one another.2 

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Sunday
Jan132013

Long-Distance Relationships: The Infographic

Click to see the whole, big infographicLong-distance relationships are very common. Not surprisingly, we get a lot of questions from our readers and students about whether they should stick it out with their long-distance partners, and if so, how they can make their relationships last in the face of geographic separation. Here are a few of our articles on LDRs, along with a new infographic:

You can check out all of our infographics here, on fun topics like facial hair and attractiveness, breaking up by text message, discrimination against single people, similarities in political views between partners, Valentine's Day and break up, and female orgasm in hook-ups vs. committed relationships.

Wednesday
Aug292012

Should I End My Relationship Before Going To College?

Now that the summer is coming to a close, young adults are fervidly preparing for their transition to college (though they may be more excited about leaving their parents’ house). College, of course, offers incoming students many social novelties: independence, new friends, all-nighters to cram for finals, and perhaps even new “temptations” around campus (you may very well find yourself checking out the facebook page of the person in the next dorm). But what if you are entering the ivy-covered walls while still involved in a relationship with your high school sweetheart? Should you break up with your romantic partner, or should you maintain the relationship?

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Sunday
Nov202011

Self-Other Overlap in Long-Distance Relationships

Monday
Oct102011

The “Turkey Dump”: Fact or Fiction?

It is the day after Thanksgiving weekend and thousands of undergrads are emerging from a turkey-induced slumber, packing up their leftover turkey sandwiches, and heading back to their dorm rooms newly single. Yep, you got it, they’ve been Turkey Dumped – or at least this is what contemporary dorm room legend implies.

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Sunday
Oct092011

Short-Distance Relationship

Saturday
Sep242011

Fantasy Football: A Form of Friendship Maintenance

Until recently, my wife never understood my fascination with fantasy football. Specifically, she wondered how I could make fun of the other “players” in my league (i.e., my friends) without them getting mad at me. I rarely see these friends because we live in different states, and she likes to point out that it may be a better idea to be nice to one another. Perhaps many of you are just like my wife, wondering what in the world is wrong with your boyfriends/fiancés/husbands (at least in terms of our obsession with fantasy football.

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Wednesday
Aug172011

Relationships 101: Having Healthy Relationships in Your First Year of College 

For a .PDF version of this article, please click here. This article is free to any college/university for dissemination to students (e.g., as part of college orientation, first-year seminar, or college course).

College is all about new experiences: the start of a new life, new friends, new freedom, and new relationship experiences. Not surprisingly, romantic relationships are responsible for life’s happiest moments.1 For that reason, it is important to avoid problematic relationships that could jeopardize your college education. To help, we’ll identify qualities of healthy relationships in the context of common relationship experiences that students encounter during their first year in college.

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Tuesday
Aug092011

Ask Dr. Loving: Are Long-Distance Relationships Rewarding?

"DX" asked the following question: I'm wondering if there are any studies about long distance relationships? There's just so much knowledge I believe to be gained from focusing on such a very difficult but highly rewarding relationship type.

Dear DX-- You are exactly right; there's a lot to be learned by looking at the dynamics of long-distance relationships (or what those of us in the business affectionately refer to as "LDRs"). Fortunately, researchers have not neglected this common relationship context. Please see our previous posts by SofR contributor Dr. Bevan (see here and here).

Additionally, below I've pasted an excerpt from our forthcoming book, where I answer the question: Is distance bad for relationships?

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Wednesday
Jul202011

Can Cybersex be Good for Your Relationship?

Let’s start with the basics: What is cybersex? Researchers at the University of New Brunswick found that people actually have varied ideas of what activities fit into the term cybersex. Based on their findings, they propose that we can broadly define cybersex as “a sexual communication between at least two people that is focused on sexual relations and occurs via synchronous Internet modes.”

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Monday
May302011

First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, and Then Come Frequent Flyer Miles?

Although the title of this post is a twist on the playground rhyme, this sequence of events is a reality for many couples who, because of career related and other circumstances, maintain separate homes and reunite often. Since 1980’s we have seen a shift in this arrangement as dual-career couples attempt to reconcile their relationship and career needs by living apart.

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Monday
May232011

Does Distance Matter?: How To Manage Geographic Separation in Relationships (Part 2)

In our first post about LDRs, we noted that LDRs are fairly common and similar to geographically close relationships (GCRs) in terms of markers of relationship quality, such as closeness, affection, and likelihood of the relationship ending. If this is the case, how do people in long-distance relationships make them work? What are some challenges that are specific to LDRs and how can they be managed?

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Monday
May162011

Does Distance Matter?: Geographically Close vs. Long-Distance Relationships (Part 1)

In this season of high school and college graduations, many dating partners are likely facing the prospects of being geographically separated. What should these dating partners know about long-distance relationships? Are long-distance relationships substantially different from ones that are geographically close?

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