Entries in personal relationships (journal) (3)


Whose Opinion Matters More: Parents' or Friends'?

When my wife and I first started dating, she would joke that because I valued my best friend’s opinion so much, we would only be able to stay together if he approved of her…at least I think she was joking.  Fortunately, he gave me his blessing, and now my wife and I are happily married. But why wasn’t my wife worried about what my parents would think of her? Did she believe that I don’t trust my parents’ advice? (Mom and Dad, I do listen to your advice…most of the time). Or did my wife simply believe that my best friend’s advice would carry more weight than my parents’?

Researchers have examined just this – whose opinion, friends' or parents', has more influence on individuals’ dating choices.

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What to Do When Your Friends Date Jerks

We love our friends and we want the best for them. But what do we do when our friends are dating losers, jerks, Charlie Sheen, or just someone who is not good enough for them? Do we try to affect the ultimate outcome of the relationship, or do we support them regardless of their poor choices? After all, if people in relationships regularly don rose-colored glasses, don’t we have an obligation to help them see clearly?

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Why Would Someone Snoop on Their Partner?

When relationship partners are reluctant to reveal information or discuss their thoughts and feelings, people may be more likely to snoop on them by doing things like checking their pockets or reading through their text messages. This is especially true if the 'future snooper' has low levels of trust.

Vinkers, C., Finkenauer, C., & Hawk, S. (2011). Why do close partners snoop? Predictors of intrusive behavior in newlywed couples. Personal Relationships, 18, 110-124.