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Entries in privacy (6)

Friday
Apr102015

Knowledge About Your Adolescent’s Life: Will it Necessarily Decline Over Time? (Hint: Probably)

As we’ve reviewed previously, it’s hard for parents to fight the natural expectations kids develop regarding their right to privacy; as kids grow older and become more independent they naturally desire more privacy which causes them to disclose less and less to their parents. As a result, how much parents know about what their kids do on a daily basis (i.e., parental knowledge) declines during adolescence.

But much of the past work on the topic of parental knowledge focuses on mean, or average, levels of parental knowledge rather than considering the possibility that different types of families might show different patterns of change, or trajectories, in such knowledge over time. Such heterogeneity in parental knowledge would have important implications and applications as it would help researchers identify those families (and their potentially resilient characteristics) that are able to ward off declines in parental knowledge versus those that demonstrate more typical patterns (and, as a parent, I can imagine that information being very useful). 

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Friday
Mar132015

Stay In Your Own Lane

Did mama ever tell you to mind your own business or Stay in your own lane? For decades, musicians have been reminding us of the importance of a lesson that often falls on deaf ears. As a matter of fact, in 1949, Hank Williams began swooning about the topic when he sang the lyrics

If the wife and I are fussin', brother that's our right
'Cause me and that sweet woman's got a license to fight
Why don't you mind your own business
(Mind your own business)
‘Cause if you mind your business, then you won’t be mindin’ mine.”

As powerful as those lyrics may be, it seems that more should be done to encourage people to Stay in Your Own Lane!1 Minding your own business or Staying in your own lane refer to the need for people to disengage from the troublesome act of gossiping or meddling in the affairs of others. As easy as this seems in theory, the act of minding your own business is anything but. As a matter of fact, popular media encourages the contrary. Over the past decade, reality television and social media have become the primary focus of our daily rituals – and both of these present-day fixtures encourage us to tend to the business of others. This is evidenced by participation in the dreaded eternal scroll. The eternal scroll refers to the time spent scrolling through social media sites, reviewing others’ posts. Think about it. As of late 2012, Facebook had accounted for almost one billion active users who collectively spend approximately 20,000 years online each day. This inordinate amount of time encourages users to express their likes, dislikes, interests, and concerns2 all relative to posts and responses of others.

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Thursday
Aug292013

Why Do We Overshare on Facebook?

image source: datingish.com
Facebook has become a normal part of life for a large portion of the population. But are there risks associated with not having some public vs. private boundaries? There's plenty of reason to think so. See Slate.com for more...

 

 

Monday
Apr012013

Too Much, Too Soon

I took a weekend ski trip recently with The Consultant. We had great day of skiing, fantastic Bloody Marys with lunch, and enjoyed a much needed break from work and kids. Over an après ski beer at the base of the mountain, some locals told us that there was an outdoor, natural hot spring close by. That sounded like a perfect way to soothe our tired muscles, so we promptly made our way over for a little tub time.

At check-in, we were informed that clothing was optional in the springs. It was dark outside, and there were not too many people there to potentially gawk at us in our birthday suits, so The Consultant and I were comfortable with that. While most other the other guests at the hot spring were naked, there was one woman sitting at the edge of the pool who was considerably more self-conscious in a 1-piece bathing suit.  

A few minutes into our soak, a naked man swam over to the single, clothed woman. After some small talk, he immediately launched into a long, dramatic story about his ex-wife. From what we could gather, this guy’s ex-wife tried to take his kid’s birth certificates and sell them to some Mexican outlaws, she racked up huge amounts of debt using his identity, and then tried to break up every new relationship he started, such as texting him when she knew he was on dates. He was rambling on so much that he was oblivious to the fact that the woman he was trying to impress was slowly inching away from him.

Naturally, I thought to myself, “Whoa, dude, too much information!”

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Friday
Mar292013

All I Didn’t Want To Know About Relationships, I Learned From the Jersey Shore

Lately, I’ve been thinking about a by-gone era. A time when we could turn on our televisions and get a weekly dose of Snooki, JWow, Pauly D, the Situation and the rest of the Jersey Shore gang. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not nostalgic for their dating debauchery but rather reflective on the impact that it has had on our society. Thinking back, I’ve come to the conclusion that all I didn’t want to know about relationships, I learned from the Jersey Shore.

Although I could easily be referring to the urban dictionary definition of a “grenade” or the meaning of GTB (gym, tan, break-up with Paula) or DTF (which I will not translate), I’m actually referring to how MTV’s Jersey Shore was a truly ingenious demonstration of social psychology principles. Unfortunately, it’s possible that we may all be worse off for having shared in their sexually-permissive hijinks. Here’s why...

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Monday
Oct152012

Note to Parents of Adolescent Kids: Stay Out if You Want "In"

My daughter is 4 years old, and has proven to very evasive when asked about her daily life at the Montessori she attends daily. A typical dinner conversation will go something like this:

Me: How was your day?

Her: Boring.

Me: What did you do? Who’d you play with?

Her: Nothing.

That pretty much captures it. And I will admit that it absolutely drives me crazy. Why? Because if the details of her private life are this elusive to me now, there’s no way I’m going to make it through her adolescent years without some intense therapy. I always want her (and our son) to feel comfortable confiding in me and keeping me informed about what’s going on in their lives --- something that will become increasingly important as they age and spend more and more time in their own private social worlds.

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