Reflections and Resolutions

With the start of each new year, I engage in a lot of self-reflection; in fact, I think I do more self-reflection than New Year’s resolution making. At about this time last year, I started to awaken from a long, self-induced romantic relationship hibernation. After wiping the sleep from my eyes, I have dated several interesting men and had quite a few adventures. As I reflect on the last year, and the years that have led up to this one, I need to admit to myself that the changing of old relationship patterns remains difficult for me.

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Regrets: What Hurts the Most?

What comes to mind when you think about your most important goals in life? Finding the perfect person to marry? Having children? Finding the best job or career path? When people make mistakes in pursuit of these goals, the pain of opportunities lost likely leads to regret. Regret is a complex negative emotion that involves a sense of sorrow at what might have been or wishing previous choices could be undone.

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Regretting Lost Loves and Missed Opportunities

A new study revealed that 1 in every 5.5 people think of a missed or lost romance when asked about regret. Regrets about romance were listed most frequently – more than family issues, career decisions, and educational opportunities, with women more likely to have romance regrets than men. 

Morrison, M., & Roese, N. J. (in press). Regrets of the typical American: Findings from a nationally representative sample. Social Psychological and Personality Science.  doi: 10.1177/1948550611401756