Is Pornography to Blame For the High Divorce Rate?

Ever since the invention of pornography, politicians and the public alike have expressed concerns about the potential negative effects that porn has on those who view it. In particular, many people worry that exposure to porn is destructive to people’s romantic and sexual relationships. This concern was seemingly validated by a recent study reporting that Playboy magazine was the “cause” of up to 25% of all divorces that occurred in the United States in the 1960s and 70s. Could this really be the case? Is exposure to porn destroying our love lives?

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The Music of Relationships

As you sit down for a romantic dinner with your partner, you’ve thought of everything: great food, fine china, candles, and a nice bottle of wine.  Now you just need a little music to set the mood, so you put on Eminem’s “Lose Yourself.”  This will certainly set a mood (i.e., confusion), but probably not the mood (i.e., romance). Clearly you should have gone with something like “At Last” by Etta James, or perhaps “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel (boom box and all).

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Why People Have Sex (“The Naked Man” Redux)

How many reasons can you think of for having sex? Some people may assume that there are relatively few motivations (for example: physical pleasure, intimacy, reproduction, sexual release), but psychologists Cindy Meston and David Buss have identified two-hundred and thirty-seven (237) distinct reasons for engaging in sexual activity (clustered in 4 broad categories). There isn’t enough room in this article to identify each of them, but we can certainly touch on some of the more surprising reasons people give. 

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Do Men Really Think About Sex Every Seven Seconds?

Most of you have probably heard the statistic that men think about sex every seven seconds. If this is correct, it means that sex crosses men’s minds 514 times per hour. Talk about sex on the brain! But is there any truth to this statistic?

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New Year’s Resolutions for Your Relationship

It seems as though there is a fairly standard list of New Year’s resolutions: lose weight, exercise more, eat healthier, pay off credit card debt, and quit smoking/drinking. Perhaps you’ve gone beyond this list and added things like: spend less time on Facebook or watching TV, get organized, find a better job, fix up the house, stop procrastinating, etc.

Oddly (to us, anyways), although resolutions typically emphasize physical and mental health, they generally ignore relationship health. To address this oversight, here is list of 7 scientifically-validated ways you can improve your relationships culled from recent research.

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Breasts are Best: Can Women Orgasm from Nipple Stimulation?

Some women, though not many, have reported that they can achieve an orgasm simply by having their breasts and nipples stimulated. The idea of a woman experiencing orgasm without any genital touching whatsoever might seem perplexing, but new research suggests that there is actually a sound biological basis for it.

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The Third Date Rule: Fact or Fiction?

“This is our third date, and we both know what that means.”

“We do?”

“Sex.”

On a classic episode of The Big Bang Theory, Howard learns about the third date rule – the idea that the third date is the “sex date,” the date when it is deemed appropriate for a new couple to have sex. Is this a dating rule that people take to heart (or to bed) or is it just another urban dating myth? 

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Playing with Sex Data: The Sexperience 1000

Admit it...You've probably had questions about others' sex lives. Now you can answer those questions based on data from a represetative sample of 1,000 people in the United Kingdom from "The Sexperience 1000" project. Have fun playing with their data!

Also see our article on OkCupid's creative use of data here.

Healthy Men (But Not Women) Have Better Sex and Happier Relationships

As if you needed one more reason to feel guilty for couch-surfing when you should be kick-boxing, a recent study on long-term relationships indicates that men in excellent or good health have better sex than their flabbier or sickly peers. The good news doesn’t stop there: healthier dudes are nearly twice as likely to report relationship happiness outside the bedroom as well.

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The Birds and The Bees: As Early as Age 3?

Whenever I teach my Psychology of Adolescence class, I have at least one student ask me when parents should have “the talk” with their children. Many of these students lament that their parents never talked with them about sexuality; others anticipate having their own children and want to know what research suggests they do. I always preface my research-based advice by noting that my own children are young (currently 4 and 6) and (hopefully) many years from being sexually active. As any parent knows, it is far easier to give advice to others about how to parent children then it is to actually parent their own. And yet, the data on this topic is clear and my research-based opinions are strong, so I proceed with advice.

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What Sex Can Do For Neuroticism

In a previous post, I discussed the health benefits of sex, and now, new research suggests that combating the negative consequences of neuroticism can be added to the list.

As far as partner’s personalities go, neuroticism, or the tendency to experience negative emotional states such as anxiety and depressed mood, has the strongest impact on romantic relationship quality. People who are higher in neuroticism tend to be less satisfied in their relationships, and as you’d expect, so are their partners.

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Do People Have More Sex on Vacation?

One thing that researchers know about sex is that context matters. Think “What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas.” A vacation provides a break from work or school, a chance to relax and let loose, and the opportunity to explore a new part of the world...but does a vacation also bring more opportunities for sex?

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Knowledge Is Pleasure: Everything You Should Know About Female Orgasm

By far, the most frequent thing students ask about in my Human Sexuality course is female orgasm. In some ways, people’s lack of knowledge on this topic is not surprising. For example, think back to the sexual education courses you took in grade school or high school. Or maybe the uncomfortable talks that you had with mom and dad while you were growing up. At what point did the subject of female pleasure come up? If your experiences were anything like mine, I’m guessing never.

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Love is Abstract, but Sex is Concrete: How Your Mindset Affects Romantic Expectations

What are you doing right now? Are you relaxing? Procrastinating? Gaining knowledge about relationships? Reading words on your computer screen?

You can construe any situation in a number of ways. In particular, you can frame most situations in either an abstract, long-term sort of way, or in a more concrete, immediate way.

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Just Do It: Having Sex Can Make You Smarter

A rat searching for cheese in a maze is one of the more iconic images associated with psychology. Some recent research extends beyond rats’ GPS capabilities by examining their sexual activity. Yup, rodent sex; we’re going there.

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Does That Count? Differing Definitions of Sex

A few weeks ago some friends and I were discussing the recent date of a male member of the group. He said that he did not have sex on his date. But, after he described the encounter (in which both he and his partner had an orgasm, but did not have intercourse) one of our friends disagreed with him and argued that sex did occur. So who’s right?

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Faking Orgasms: Who Benefits More From a False Finish?

According to Meg Ryan’s character in When Harry Met Sally, “Most women at one time or another have faked it.” By “it” she was, of course, referring to the seemingly elusive female orgasm. And she’s right—studies consistently show that somewhere between one-half and two-thirds of women have faked a climax at some point in their lives.

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Ask Dr. Loving: Can Our Relationship Survive His STD?

I have a friend who has been very forthcoming about his sexual experiences and how he was diagnosed with an STD when he was 20 years old. I am very attracted to him and although he has an STD, knowing that does not repulse or drive me away. But it does make me seriously consider, if I were ever to be with him in a relationship, would it work without sex?  -- trustingHim

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Whose Orgasms Are We Moaning About Anyway?

Sounds during sex can range from “ohhhs” and “ahhhs” to words of encouragement (“don’t stop,” “that’s it!,” “YES!”) to sexual expletives to screams that wake the neighbors. But who is all this noise really for?

A new study reveals that the sounds women make during sex aren’t just about their own orgasms but also serve to help their partners’ orgasms.

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Teens in Love Stay Out of Trouble: Not All Teen Sex Is Created Equal

A recent study of over 500 teenaged same-sex twin pairs suggests there may be a hidden benefit of being a lovesick teen. Teenagers that have sex with a romantic partner engage in fewer delinquent behaviors than do teens that have sex outside of a relationship (i.e., “hooking up”). In other words, teens spending more time with a boyfriend or girlfriend leaves them less time to get into trouble. 

Harden, K., & Mendle, J. (2011). Adolescent sexual activity and the development of delinquent behavior: The role of relationship context. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 40(7), 825-838. doi:10.1007/s10964-010-9601-y